You survived 2020. The year that effected everyone, shook us to our core, made us question our mortality, and forced us all to take a harder look in the mirror at ourselves. The existential crisis was real, and for people like myself who will FINALLY be graduating with the class of 2021 from undergrad, it still is. 2020 presented some of us with more challenges and adversity than many are used to dealing with in a “regular” year. Yea. A global pandemic will do that to you. While we aren’t necessarily on the other side of this thing just yet, we have learned a lot about ourselves that we probably wouldn’t have if not for this pandemic, and to that, I say, thank you 2020.
Getting vulnerable for a sec, 2020 forced me to do much soul searching in a time where my mental health was already in a steady decline due to stress and self-doubt from school and a break up more traumatizing than I would like to admit or remember. The truth is that 2020 took a lot from people in so many different ways and it just keeps going. The non-stop adjusting to an ever-changing “new normal” has become the new normal.
So as we look forward to the New Year, many of us are wondering how exactly we move forward with this New Year. Do we make New Year’s resolutions? Do we set expectations for ourselves all in the hopes of achieving our goals? My answer: No. We need to do it every day. Whatever it is. I’m going to give you some reasons why and how and how to incorporate healthy habits and lifestyle changes into the new year, that is, 2021.
Take Charge of Things You Can Control
New Year’s resolutions have never been my thing. The idea of setting goals with deadlines to me isn’t realistic, especially in a time where things are always changing, and unpredictability is at its highest. Instead, work towards your goals every day. Create a to-list around your goals instead of tackling multiple things at once, do one at a time. Do what you can. Push yourself, but be gentle as well. You’re only human, after all. This past year more than anything, I find that I am less anxious when I am actively working on things rather than putting a bunch of stuff on my plate at once. Actively working on your goals instead of placing strict deadlines on them will give you a sense of accomplishment over and over again with every step of progress you make. And start gradually. You can hit the ground running, but at your own pace.
Stop Comparing Yourselves to What You See On Social Media
Seeing other people reach and accomplish their goals while you’re struggling to accomplish your own can be daunting. It might not necessarily be the case that you’re jealous of what you see, more so the frustration in the challenges you’re personally facing. My biggest hurdle, for example, was school. Quitting was never an option, but I am not academically gifted. While I didn’t compare myself to others or have feelings of jealousy, seeing others succeed with very little challenge sometimes chipped away at my confidence, which would then take some time to build back up. I found that 2020 forced me to push past those feelings and forced me to make a choice to change how I felt about my challenges in order to achieve my goals. And this isn’t just about your ability or lack thereof; it’s about finding new ways to do things and not giving up because you might need extra resources.
I encourage you to take breaks from social media every once in a while or find ways to use social media as motivation. Keep in mind that social media is mostly used for posting the highlights of someone’s life and not their lowlights. Sometimes we get wrapped up in the realities of others we see online. Just remember that all that glitters isn’t always gold, and some people who are good at selling a dream aren’t living the dream they’re selling.
Don’t Be The Thief Of One’s Joy. Even Your Own
Tabitha Brown said it best: “If you can’t have a good day, don’t go ruining anyone else’s.” Admittedly, it can be hard to be happy or optimistic in times of uncertainty. I find that the best way I have been getting through those moments is simply being thankful for the here and now. There is something so selfless about being happy for others or doing a good deed for someone. Find things that bring you joy and get rid of things that don’t.
Get a Hobby
While I wouldn’t define myself as a high maintenance individual, I like to make myself look spiffy. I love getting my nails done, pedicures, and my eyebrows waxed. Obviously, that came to a screeching halt during the first couple of months into the pandemic. Before that, however, I had already started dabbling into doing my nails at home since many salons in my area weren’t able to do the specific nail designs I wanted. Nonetheless, the pandemic presented me with the opportunity to hone in on learning how to do my nails.
Take some time to yourself and think about one or two things you wish you had more time to become good at and start doing it. Start watching and reading niche-related blogs and vlogs. Consider joining a hobbyist group on social media. Maybe take up playing a new video game—I, for one, love the Sims 4. I can do fun things in the game like simulating going outside mask-free. Find something that calms you down and makes you happy.
Self-Indulge With Freedom from Guilt
My biggest indulgence besides food is sleeping in. Something about getting some extra Zzz’s during the day is so calming to me. Maybe you might have an extra glass of wine or beer, order some fancy take-out, read a book, and give yourself an extra orgasm or two. Whatever it is, find something you like or want to do and get yourself a little extra serving of it. There is nothing shameful about self-indulging during a pandemic. We need all the happiness we can get and then some.
Conserve Your Energy
I have a confession to make. Since the start of the pandemic, I have developed an unhealthy obsession with watching the news almost 24/7. Something about staying in the “know” makes me feel less anxious. Or so I thought. After about three months into the pandemic, it became harder to sleep, I was more anxious than usual, and my migraines/ cluster headaches occurred more frequently. I initially attributed it to the pandemic. I soon discovered, however, that constantly consuming myself with the news was unconsciously causing me additional anxiety and psychosomatic symptoms.
Just to be clear, psychosomatic symptoms aren’t necessarily exclusive to individuals who suffer from mental illness. They can occur during times of high stress or when an individual is in fear of getting sick /experiencing anxiety. You might have even experienced some symptoms that are Covid-related, only to find out that you tested negative for the virus. Maybe you’ve been having some unexplained tummy issues since the pandemic started. It’s quite common. In any event, if you are experiencing symptoms, get tested.
In times like these, extra anxiety is not good. Stress and anxiety can lead to illness and fatigue. Several studies have proven that stress can have a negative effect on the immune system. And during the age of covid, the phrase “Health is wealth” is not an understatement. Conserving your energy isn’t just about avoiding bad news. It’s also about not tolerating people who put you in stressful situations or stress you out in general. Your peace is expensive. Don’t give it away for free.
A huge thank you to the Lion’s Den for sponsoring this post and helping me promote safe sex and healthy conversations in safe spaces!
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