I’ve been online dating on/off for a minute, and I without a doubt, I can say that I have learned so many things about myself and those that I have interacted with in doing so. If you’re new to online dating, I can tell you that it gets easier to see through the bullshit, but at times it can still be challenging. The dating tips I usually share/always come from any prior experiences that I’ve had in the past. They typically consist of things I’ve never thought about until they’ve happened or things that have happened to me, which is why I’m always adding new things to my ever-growing list. Thus, bringing us back to another installation of Online Dating Tips I Live By: Part 2. These are real tips I live by and hope you find them helpful.
I Never Have Drinks on The First Date
I know what someone you might be thinking: “Tiffy, that’s so boring!” I know, I know. For me personally, I don’t like to drink on the first date. I like to be sober on my first dates because I feel like that’s the best way to get to know someone you’re interested in. While I don’t believe alcohol necessarily clouds my judgment to the point where I can’t take in the vibes someone is giving me, you can’t guarantee that from the other person of whom you might be sharing drinks with. People can do funny things when they’re nervous on a first date. I’m also just not comfortable drinking with someone I don’t know that well. I also like to get my first impressions of someone when they’re not under the influence. If my date suggests that we go out for drinks as a first date, I usually tell them that I’m not comfortable with that and suggest something else like going to the movies or a bite to eat.
I Always Look Up the Address of Where I’m Meeting My Date
My mom always tells me to be aware of my surroundings. You can’t be mindful of your surroundings if you’re not familiar with them. Once I’ve been dating someone for a while and I trust them, I’ll pretty much let them take me anywhere because I know I can trust that they will keep me out of harm’s way. The first few times however, I always ask for the exact location of where we will be meeting so I can see how far away it is public transportation and make sure that its moderately trafficked area. I never agree to go somewhere I’m unfamiliar with and won’t confirm a date if I haven’t looked up the address first. If your date insists on going somewhere and you’re not comfortable with it, tell them to plain out that you are uncomfortable with going.
I Always Meet My Dates in A Public Place for The First Date
I usually don’t hook up on the first dates. It’s just not my thing, though there was this one time I did, which ill talk about later. None the less and more so for safety reasons, I don’t do first meets at their place or mine. For one, people don’t always put their true intentions front and center when you are talking to them. So, meeting in a public place provides me with a safety net if you will, just in case things aren’t working out or I get creepy vibes from my date and suddenly want to go home. This also works out on the flip side if you find your date isn’t going well because then you won’t have to do the who awkward kicking them out of your place thing. Typically, if the first date goes really well and I’m really feeling them, ill be okay with going to their house for the second date.
I Don’t Let My Dates Take Me Home
Even if the first date went exceptionally well, I don’t let my date walk me to my front door or anywhere near my home. I also won’t take an uber with them out of fear that the driver will drop me right in front of my home. If you know your date that well, they don’t need to know exactly where you live. If a date asks me where I live, I will usually mention the borough and if they ask for a specific address, I just make it clear that I am not comfortable giving out that information just yet but will be more forthcoming if we progress into something.
Bring My Own Condoms
I personally believe that we are all responsible for our own bodies. Which means we must take the initiative in protecting them. If I think somethings gonna go down with my date, I always bring my condom pouch. It consists of vials and sachets of lube with assorted condoms inspected by me and fits into my purse.
I Don’t Lie to Make Someone Like Me
The funny thing about lies is that they’re hard to keep up with, especially if you have a terrible memory. My memory is pretty good, but honesty is the best policy. I personally think if you have to lie about the details of your life to make someone like you, then you’re not being your most authentic self, which sounds cliché but is still very much true. I’m not telling you not to put your best foot forward or that you have to tell your date every living detail of your life, just make sure that you aren’t being so dishonest with your date that if things start going somewhere, you find yourself with a failure to launch type of situation. That is in no reference to the movie, of course.
I Never Go on A Date If I Don’t Have My Own Money
My sister and I always talk about this. Even if you’re not the one paying for the date (given your date says they’ll pay for it), you should never go on one without having some dough on you. I never go into a date with the anticipation that date won’t go well, but there are so many reasons why you should never go on a date without any money. I never want to be at the will of someone I don’t know like that as things can change drastically when you meet someone in person. I always have a metro card with at least enough for two rides, money to pay for my part of the date just in case, and some extra money for an uber in case where I am isn’t near a train station.
I had one particular experience where a date said he would pay and how excited he was to take me on our first date, took one look at me and for some strange reason, with no other interaction besides greeting and small talk, walks up to the ticket booth, bought one single movie ticket, then stepped to the side and looked at me, and waited for me to pay for my ticket. I was confused. We didn’t have a second date, though he did ask me out many times afterward, even inviting me to take a trip with him to California for a friend’s wedding. Yea. No.
Final Thoughts
Some might think these tips are either unrealistic or too strict for some. To that, I would say take the tips you think would be useful to you. Consider the pros and the cons and always leave room for unpredictability when using these tips as I do. You don’t always know what gonna happen on a date until your there. I wish you great luck, success, and great sex!
And with all that said, here’s my question to you: What dating tips or rules do you live by?
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